“I know.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “My dad needed me. And then I was scared. And then so much time had passed that I convinced myself you were better off without the version of me that kept letting you down.” He paused. “I was wrong about that last part. I think. I hope.”
She finally looked up at him. There was no performance in his face — no charm deployed as a shield, which had always been his particular talent. He just looked tired and hopeful and very much like the person she had loved when she was twenty-three and certain the world was full of good things.
“What changed?” she asked.
“I found one of your letters,” he said. “The last one you sent. I was packing up my flat — I’m not going back, Clara, I mean that — and it had fallen behind the desk. I read it and I thought, if she still writes like that, if she still means what she wrote, then I am the biggest fool alive for staying away this long.”
She remembered that letter. She had written it at two in the morning, honest in the way you can only be when you think no one will act on what you say. She had told him she missed him. She had told him she thought about the steps of the National Gallery sometimes. She had told him she hoped he was happy, and that she meant it, even if it was hard to mean it.
She had not told him to come back. But apparently, he had read it anyway.
The silence between them was not uncomfortable. It was the silence of two people standing at the edge of something and deciding whether to step.
Clara reached across the desk and pulled the paper bag toward her. She opened it. The croissant was still warm. She broke off a piece, held it out to him, and when his fingers closed around it, they brushed hers and neither of them moved for a moment.
“You’d have to earn it back,” she said softly. “All of it. I’m not the same person I was.”
“I know.” His thumb traced lightly across her knuckles, just once, before he let go. “I’m counting on it. I’m not the same either.”
She looked at him for a long moment — really looked, the way she had been afraid to since he walked in — and felt something she had carefully packed away begin, very quietly, to unpack itself.
“The farmers market is Saturday,” she said finally. “Castle Terrace. Half nine. If you’re still in the city.”
His smile was slow and warm and entirely too familiar. “I’ll be there.”
She believed him. That was the surprising part — not that he had come, not that he had said all the right things, but that when he said it, every careful, sensible wall she had built around herself went quiet. And in the quiet, something that had been waiting a very long time finally, gently, exhaled.
Outside, Edinburgh began to rain. Inside, the croissant was very good. And for the first time in seven years, Clara Finch did not feel the need to convince herself she was fine — because she thought, cautiously, that she might actually be becoming so.
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